I am tired of trying. I am tired of people. I am tired of pain. I am tired of people with pain. Call me “mean” but I run into a lot of these “silent” patients with chronic pain that complain a lot. They look at me. “Oh. You are handling cancer so well. I’m in pain all the time, you’re so lucky.” Guess what- I’m in pain too. Difference is I don’t let it stop me. I don’t complain. Maybe if I Did I’d have more followers, or a bigger pay check or someone that wanted to be with me on this journey? Instead I keep moving. I am determined. I am a manager in a top company. I walk 5-7 miles daily. I get stronger by the day. Yoga, inversions, handstands, paddle boarding and swimming are my equilibrium. Can you keep up? I might be ugly, I might be old, and my body might be misshapen, but I’m not dead. And I’m not going away. Get used to it. You can’t ignore me forever.
Mann-ing Up 
I want to be with you on this journey!
YOU’RE certainly not ugly, in fact I’d go with GLAMOROUS, even after a workout. If, by any strange stretch, you’ve gained monster-itis since I last saw you, looks aren’t everything. Beauty is not skin keep, your character shines though even via text.
And you’re not old (numbers lie, right? In characteristics, energy (cancer bad patches ignored), enthusiasm, looks and personality you’re not).
YOU’RE AN AMAZING PERSON, and I wish I could do more to help and support. But I send all my best wishes, think about you most days (even if I don’t share, I don’t think you need my wittering messages every day), and I’m here if you want an ear, but I hope you already know that.
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